SULAIMANI, Kurdistan Region of Iraq – They are arranged in private messages, sealed in brief religious ceremonies and, more often than not, hidden from the people closest to those involved.

Misyar marriage, a discreet religious union that may never be registered with a court, is becoming more visible in the Kurdistan Region. On Facebook, groups and matchmaking pages connect men and women seeking marriages outside the public gaze.

No one knows how many of these marriages occur. Their secret nature makes them hard to track. Still, lawyers, women’s rights activists, and religious scholars say they see more cases and warn that the consequences can be serious.

Some see Misyar as a way to avoid the cost of a traditional wedding, family objections, or rules against polygamy. Critics argue it lets men stay hidden while women may be left without proof of marriage, financial help, or legal protection for their children.

A lawyer who requested anonymity told The New Region they had personally witnessed Misyar marriages in Sulaimani province. The judiciary’s spokesperson in Sulaimani was unavailable for comment.

A legal grey area

In the Kurdistan Region, private matchmaking services are prohibited, and marriages should go through personal status courts. Nevertheless, Misyar marriage continues to exist in a legal grey area.

Neither the Kurdistan Region nor federal Iraq has a specific provision concerning Misyar marriage. In practice, courts acknowledge marriages outside court if they satisfy Sharia requirements, such as agreement of both parties and the presence of two witnesses.

Farman Hassan, a Kurdish lawyer, stated that although the law does not expressly refer to Misyar, courts would recognise a marriage arranged outside of court provided that it conforms to Islamic principles.

“If either side of the Misyar marriage goes to court, they can register the marriage,” Hassan told The New Region. “But couples often want it to remain secret. If both husband and wife do not want to register or make it public, the marriage faces problems.”

He stated courts register such marriages on the date the religious agreement was concluded. However, when a marriage is kept secret, it can be difficult to prove it took place—especially when a woman seeks divorce, financial support, or legal recognition for her children.

Hassan stated that marriages with a fixed time limit are invalid since marriage is legally a union lasting until divorce or death. He also mentioned the law cannot stop a husband from divorcing soon after marriage if no time period is specified in the contract.

“Generally, Iraqi law is not strict with Misyar marriages because they are based on the couple's will,” he said. “A woman may consent to waive accommodation or maintenance, and the law cannot impose that on her.”

Under the Kurdistan Region’s Personal Status Law No. 15 of 2008, which amended Iraq’s Personal Status Law No. 188 of 1959, marriages conducted outside the courts are considered an offence punishable by a fine or imprisonment. 

Yet, Hassan stated, these measures have had only a limited impact; couples are usually fined, and in some cases, the cases are closed or downgraded as a result of general amnesty decisions.

‘Women’s rights are lost’

Women's rights organizations entirely reject the practice of Misyar marriage, stating that its secret nature leads to inequality and causes women to bear the greatest burden.

According to Bahar Ali, who heads the Emma Organization for Human Development, "in all marriages carried out outside the court, including in the case of Misyar, women's rights are lost"; men may enter into such secret marriages to satisfy their temporary sexual desires outside the formal legal system, and some have attempted to justify this on the basis of religious interpretations.

Ali stated that her organization firmly opposes marriages in which each partner's duties are unclear and in which women are deprived of legal protection.

There is no reliable data available regarding Misyar marriage in the Kurdistan Region, yet Ali stated that the practice is becoming more frequently talked about on social media. She said that Misyar was generally rampant in Saudi Arabia and the Gulf states, while temporary or pleasure marriages are more common among certain areas of Iraq's Shiite community.

She warned that women’s organizations would oppose attempts to promote or legalize Misyar in the Kurdistan Region.

“In the Kurdistan Region, marriages should first be registered by the courts, and then an imam can perform the religious ceremony,” Ali said. “Any imam who marries couples outside the court can be questioned.”

However, Muslim clerics told The New Region that nowadays couples no longer need clerics and can find the religious texts online, teaching them how to knot their secret marriages. 

Ali said that if Misyar extends any further, the women's groups will increase their efforts towards the authorities to make sure that those concerned are brought to account.

The matter is also connected with the restrictions which the region places on polygamy. According to the personal status law of the Kurdistan Region, a man may marry further wives only under certain conditions, such as the agreement of his first wife, financial capability, the guarantee of equal treatment for all his wives and, in some cases, if the woman is unable to have children or has an illness which prevents her from engaging in sexual intercourse. 

It is said that some Kurdish men go to the courts in Kirkuk in Iraq in order to arrange polygamous marriages, since such marriages are more difficult to obtain in the Kurdistan Region.

A divided religious debate

Religious opinion on Misyar is far from unified.

Dr Mohammed Penjweni, a Muslim scholar and a member of Sulaimani’s fatwa committee, stated that the Sunni scholars have five different interpretations of Misyar.

“Some scholars consider Misyar forbidden because it is conducted in secret and often without parents' knowledge. Others regard it as valid if both parties consent, two witnesses are present, and a dowry is agreed upon, even if the families are unaware,” Penjweni told The New Region. 

He said a third group considers the marriage legally valid but socially improper because it lacks parental approval. Some contemporary scholars, he said, assess each case on its circumstances, allowing it in exceptional situations while rejecting it for people who can enter a conventional, public marriage.

Another interpretation permits such unions only under extraordinary conditions, such as war or mass displacement, and rejects them in ordinary social circumstances, he added. 

“As for my own opinion,” Penjweni said, “Misyar is allowed if a man and a woman conclude a contract in accordance with Sharia before two witnesses and a dowry has been specified; nevertheless, it is not a full marriage.”

He cautioned that even if a religious contract is valid, the results can be serious, since families might reject the relationship, the first wife could object, and the secret nature of the arrangement might prevent women from being able to prove their marital status if their husbands disappear.

He said that there are situations in which the husband leaves, and the woman is unable to disclose the marriage. "In such cases," he added, "serious legal problems may arise if they have a child."

Penjweni stated that marriages which have a specifically agreed-upon end date are prohibited, and he also cautions that some men may look for Misyar merely for temporary sexual pleasure rather than for the duties connected with marriage.

Some Kurdish activists have claimed that certain religious figures have entered into temporary marriages, afterwards divorced the women involved, and then introduced them to other men. According to Penjweni, anyone who is found to have done this should suffer legal consequences.

Wider concerns over family law

The debate is taking place at a time when there is increasing anxiety about women's rights and family law in Iraq.

The amendments to Iraq's Personal Status Law, which became effective on 17 February 2025, were criticised by Human Rights Watch, the organization stating that they had weakened legal equality and had undermined the rights of women and girls. The amendments enable couples to decide whether issues such as marriage, divorce, child custody and inheritance are to be governed by the 1959 Personal Status Law or by the Jaafari Personal Status Code.

Although the campaigning carried out by women's rights groups had succeeded in keeping certain protections in place—such as the minimum age for marriage, the rules regarding child custody and the bans on polygamy—Human Rights Watch stated that the changes still do not meet international human rights standards.

The amendments are not currently enforced in the Kurdistan Region. Under the Region’s legal framework, federal Iraqi laws must be endorsed by the Kurdistan Parliament before taking effect locally. Until then, existing provisions remain in force.

For activists, the Misyar marriage shows forth a more fundamental divide between religious customs, social expectations, and the legal protection that acts as a shield.

The question is no longer whether such marriages exist in the Kurdistan Region. It is whether the institutions responsible for protecting women can respond before secrecy becomes a substitute for rights.